Porcelain Doll
by Agate
Summary: At those words, my heart shattered into a million pieces...' Tomoyo has always harboured feelings for her Sakura-Chan, and when Sakura marries Syaoran, Tomoyo deceides that she would never fall in love again. But can she keep her heart closed forever?ExT
1. I Do

Disclaimers: … You Should Know By Now…

"Tomoyo-Chan!" an extremely happy Kinomoto Sakura squealed, "You made it! Oh I'm so nervous, I can't even think straight…. But I'm so excited!"

The 23-year-old Daidouji Tomoyo smiled at her best friend, " you have every reason to be excited! It's your big day! Demo, don't worry so much Sakura-Chan, I have everything covered. Nothing can go wrong."

"I'm not doubting you, but are you sure?" Sakura asked worriedly.

"Of course I'm sure." Tomoyo answered definitely.

"Very sure?"

  
"Yes, very sure."

"Very, very, very sure??" the bride –to-be asked for the third time.

"Yes! Now stop worrying so much, I've got everything under control." The raven-haired woman reassured a frantic Sakura for the third time in a row. Suddenly, her expression changed. Her amethyst coloured eyes lit up and her lips curved into a sweet smile. It was this single expression that the short-chestnut-haired, emerald-eyed girl had grown to fear… "To-Tomoyo…-Chan?" Sakura dared to speak, "Are… are you thinking what I think you're thinking?"

Tomoyo giggled and reached for her bag, "What else? How could I let you get married in any plain old dress that probably was mass produced somewhere in America, when I could make you a one-of-a-kind dress that matches our wonderful genki Sakura-Chan and only her?" She pulled out a beautiful pale pink silk wedding dress, typical of the Daidouji talent. It was one of those rare pieces that, even for Tomoyo, showed just how much love and effort was put into it. Nearly everything but the cloth and beads were hand made. It was quite simple on the 'Tomoyo Made' scale. It was a spaghetti-strapped dress that had small-frilled sleeves, showing off the shoulders, that were embellished by the intricate embroidered edge in a stronger shade of pink. The dress itself had the embroidered images of sakura flowers encircling the waist then trailing down to the hem with occasional rose-coloured pearls as accents.

Sakura gasped at her dress. "Tomoyo-Chan…"eyes welling up with tears, "Thank you so much! You're the best friend I could have!" She hugged Tomoyo. "I love you so much Tomoyo-Chan."

Returning the hug, Tomoyo whispered, "I love you too Sakura-Chan. You don't know how much you mean to me."

Church bells toll and the organ plays as Sakura walks down the aisle to meet her fiancée. Tomoyo stood as the Bride's Maid and watched her childhood friend marry the one she loved the most. She saw how Sakura's face glowed with happiness every time she was with Li Syaoran. This kind of happiness, Tomoyo knew, she could not give her best friend, no matter how much she wanted to. Her mind wandered a little, thinking of what the world might have turned out to be like if Syaoran never existed. Would Sakura love her the way she loved Syaoran now? Or would she still love Yukito? Would she ever be considered more than just a best friend?

"Do you, Kinomoto Sakura, take Li Syaoran, to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

Tomoyo's attention perked up to hear the answer. 

  
"Yes, I do." 

  
At those words, her heart shattered into a million pieces… tears threatened to fall from her eyes. Tomoyo fought to hold them back, but at the sight of the husband and wife sharing their first wedded kiss, her defences weakened, and tears of sorrow flowed freely down her face. But never did she let her expression change. It always remained smiling and cheerful. She stood her ground, and suppressed the urge to run away and cry to her heart's content. She stayed put. People were easily fooled into thinking that Tomoyo was crying tears of joy for her best friend. No one knew what kind of turmoil bombarded her mind, her heart, and her soul. 

Then and there, Daidouji Tomoyo swore she would never let herself fall so deeply in love with someone ever again.  

A/N: just a side note, I have nothing against America it was just the first country I could think of when I wrote: "How could I let you get married in any plain old dress that probably was mass produced somewhere in America," ^^u anyways, I went head-long into this and if I end up abandoning it…well you've been warned! I may abandon it! C&C would be much appreciated. 


	2. I'm Leaving

At the first chance she got, Tomoyo left the wedding party and ran away, high-heels and all. She no longer cared about her surroundings and ran ahead blinded by tears. The weather did nothing to make her feel better. On the contrary, the bright, happy, afternoon sun only served to make her feel worse. She muttered curses at the sun under her breath, between sobs and gasps of air. Tomoyo had found out first hand the dangers of running in fancy high-heels that were obviously not made for the sport, when she tripped and collapsed into an ungraceful heap on the side walk. People stared at the dishevelled woman in dirtied formal wear, sobbing uncontrollably on the street. They all stared, but then quickly resuming their daily routine, not giving it another thought as if nothing ever happened.

_I've always told myself that your happiness was mine as well, so why can't I feel happy?_ She knew the answer, but she refused to believe it. She loved Sakura, but the feeling wasn't returned, and the knowledge of that truth hurt. It hurt like as if her heart was being torn apart piece by piece with tweezers; little by little, an excruciating pain. 

Tomoyo stopped crying long enough to stand up and brush some dirt off her dress. Her Daidouji Pride would not let her wallow in her misery. The image of the frazzled but dignified looking Tomoyo walking down the street with confident strides turned even more heads, She held her head up and looked straight ahead through puffy eyes. _I will not let this frivolous thing bring me down_. Tomoyo thought, _I must be brave and face reality._

As Tomoyo set foot onto her property she let her façade fall and she looked unstable and very delicate, as if a small breeze was make than enough to break her. Slowly letting herself through the door, her thoughts finally caught up to her. _I'll never love anyone more than Sakura-Chan… I just can't._ Tomoyo trudged up the stairs and into the bathroom, hoping that a nice, relaxing, hot bath could help her calm down and think things through clearly. As the tub filled with hot water scented by bath oils, she went to gather a new set of clean clothes to change into. Returning with the articles of clothing, she adjusted the water's temperature to a comfortable level, slipped out of her dirtied bride's maid's dress she had on that morning, and entered the water. Leaning back, she let the heat soak through her tired limbs, and the lilac smelling steam rise into her nostrils.  Her mind slowed, and she felt a blissful peace come over her. Everything hazed over and all that mattered was the warmth she felt.

Now clean and refreshed, Tomoyo let herself fall backwards on to the fluffy mattress of her queen-sized bed, and thought of her situation with a clear head. The more she thought, the more it hurt. _What's worse?_ She asked herself, _to love Sakura-Chan and see her everyday happy with Li-Kun, or to love her and not be there to see her spend the rest of her life with another?_ She decided that the former was more pain than her tormented heart could handle, so left with the latter option, Tomoyo made a final decision. "I'm leaving Tomoeda." She said aloud. Turning to her side to face the dolls from her childhood, she repeated louder and with more determination. "I'm leaving Tomoeda. Do you hear me? I'm leaving." And it was final. As of tomorrow afternoon, Daidouji Tomoyo will cease to exist in the lives of Tomoeda citizens, and she will disappear for good.


	3. London?

"It's been two weeks already!" sakura said, pacing back and forth frantically, "It's not like her to just disappear without a word! Oh Tomoyo, where are you?"

Walking down the unfamiliar streets of London, going by the new name of Theresa Diamond, Tomoyo had tried to start a new life. In her hand was a scrap of paper with an address quickly scribbled on it. Tomoyo paused where she was, glanced at the address she held, the street name hanging in the post above her, and then back again to the paper she held…. The symbols did not match, and Tomoyo was beginning to thing that either the airport staff gave her wrong directions, or she misinterpreted it. With a groan, Tomoyo curse under her breath in the native tongue of Japanese, Why did she have to pick London of all places? Sure she's learned English before, but how much are you really going to remember after six years? "Kuso, just my luck…"

"Lost?" a cheery female behind her asked.

  
            Tomoyo spun around, surprised to have met another Japanese speaker so soon. "H-hai, I need to find this place." Handing the eccentric stranger the address.

Ruby eyes scanned over the numbers and letters and lit up almost instantly. Suddenly jumping up and down, squealing like a child in a candy store, the young woman exclaimed, "Theresa! I'm so glad to meet you! I was wondering when you'd show up! I'm Akizuki Nakuru, your flatmate," introducing herself in the traditional Japanese form of surnames first, " you can just call me Nakuru!"

Eyes widened in surprise at the bouncing redhead. "Flatmate?" Tomoyo inquired, raising an eyebrow, "Really? You?"

Nakuru's mood took a sharp one-eighty swerve from ecstatic to down right depressed. " You don't like me? I'm not that detestable am I? Or did I do something wrong? Or say something you didn't like? I'm sorry if I did, Ms. Diamond I—"

"No, no, no, stop!" cutting off a nearly hysterical Nakuru, "No, I'm don't find anything wrong, you seem to be a wonderful person, Nakuru, I just never imagined we would meet like thins!" Tomoyo exclaimed. 

"Oh! Now that you've mentioned it, this is an add way to meet! "Reverting back to her bouncy-ness.

" Now let's get on the road to home!" Nakuru cried, pointing straight ahead. She started marching forward enthusiastically to where she pointed, until she paused after a few steps. Pivoting on her heels, she slowly turned around, still in the same stance as when she began, then she giggled. " Oops, wrong way. It's THIS WAAA~Y"

Tomoyo laughed at her new friend's antics. Maybe with Nakuru's help, she would be able to start again.

A/N: Pop Quiz! Who can guess where London is! Hummmmm I would need a prize for the winner then don't I…. How about bragging rights for being smart! I'll bet no one will get the right answer for this question! Insert evil laugh the answer will be revealed in the next chapter! 

And thank yous to the people who have reviewed. I'm so happy you like it! *Sees my rapidly growing ego* ^^U


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